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Category Archives: Baby

Things We Need to Stop Saying to Women Experiencing Infertility

14 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by Young Wifey in Baby, Life

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

infant loss, infertility, miscarriage, Pregnancy, secondary infertility

Unfortunately, infertility is often a taboo subject. Time to break my silence…

I first drafted this post over 4 years ago. It’s been revised at least a dozen times and set aside. It was almost deleted just as often. It’s personal. It’s not my usual blog topic. As if infertility isn’t hard enough, I didn’t feel like I could share my thoughts and feelings. While I’m not ready to share the complete details of our infertility story on the blogosphere, I wanted to share what thoughtless words people sometimes say. I know people don’t think they’re being hurtful, but that’s the problem. They don’t think before they speak. This is for my friends and all the women who unfortunately have a similar story to mine.

Things We Need to Stop Saying to Women Experiencing Infertility

Things We Need to Stop Saying to Women Experiencing Infertility

THINGS WE NEED TO STOP SAYING TO WOMEN EXPERIENCING INFERTILITY:

When are you going to have a baby? Six years ago if it were up to me!

Have you tried… Yes, we’ve tried it all and more than you could ever imagine.

What’s the matter with you? Ew! I know what’s the matter with you! You’re just rude!

Why don’t you do IVF? Do you have $20,000 to give me? It doesn’t always work and some woman are morally opposed to it. Besides, I’m sick of feeling like a lab rat.

It took us forever, too! It’s supposed to make me feel better that it took you 7 months?! It’s been almost 7 years for us.

If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. Oh, hush it!

Relax and it’ll happen. Are you a fertility specialist? Infertility causes stress, not the other way around.

Have faith! Why do you think that I don’t? Faith has nothing to do with my body’s abilities.

Don’t worry, it happens to everyone. No, it doesn’t and everyone’s journey is different.

It must be you since he already had a kid. Nope. There are so many more factors than that…

It’ll happen. It may not. It probably will not…

Why don’t you just adopt? Once again, do you have $20,000 to give me? It doesn’t always work, adoption fall through. Trust me.

You’ll get pregnant after you adopt. See above…

You’ll get pregnant after you stop trying. Tried that too…

I’ll be your surrogate. Unless you’re my sister or BFF, this is just a creepy offer. Besides, if I had the extra $20,000 it would go to my IVF or adoption fund.

If he can’t get you knocked up, I’ll give it a shot. Just. Don’t. Ever. Say. That. Again. I’ve heard this over 20 times… Ew!

You don’t really want kids, think of all things you’ll have to give up. I would glady. I’m sorry that you feel like you’ve missed out on life.

If you really want kids, you can just have mine. Let’s run to the lawyer now to make that official.

Shouldn’t this be easier for you to deal with by now? No, some months are easier than others. We all heal and hurt differently. I’ve talked to older woman who experienced infertility. Once their friends started to become grandparents, the pain returned double-fold.

I didn’t tell you that I was pregnant because I thought the news might upset you. Please, revel in your blessing. I understand what a miracle it truly is. Finding out from someone else would hurt more.

THINGS WE NEED TO STOP SAYING TO WOMEN EXPERIENCING SECONDARY INFERTILITY:
At least you already have a kid. Stop. Yes, they know how special that blessing is, but it doesn’t mean the loss hurts any less.

WHAT WE NEED TO SAY TO WOMEN EXPERIENCING INFERTILITY:
I’m sorry that it’s been so difficult for you.

I’m here to listen.

What can I do to help?

Please stop judging, stop offering unsolicited advice, and think before you speak.

XOXO,
Young Wifey

 

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Crochet Swaddling Blanket

18 Friday Jul 2014

Posted by Young Wifey in Baby, Crochet

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

baby afghan, baby blanket, baby gift, baby shower, blanket, gift, gift giving, handmade, handmade gift, yarn craft

Friends of mine are due to have a baby next month. I purchased a gift off their registry, but needed to include something more personal and handmade. Earlier this week, I attended their shower and presented them with this crochet swaddling blanket. They have talented friends and received many wonderful homemade gifts.swad

I used a double-stitch, Lion Brand Baby Soft Yarn in pistachio, and size J crochet hook. 71 stitches across and 43 rows created this ultra soft and light-weight blanket. I hope their baby loves it. ❤swad2

XOXO,
Young Wifey

Red Mickey Mouse Coat

10 Sunday Nov 2013

Posted by Young Wifey in Baby, Creating

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

baby blanket, blanket, Crochet, crochet blanket, gift, gift giving

While growing up, I spent a lot of time with the three beautiful little girls that lived next-door to my family. Not only did I frequently baby-sit them, but we spent time together every single day. We even went on our family vacations together. Yeah, our families were that close, that they were our family!

I’ve watched them grow up from little babies into young ladies, and one is soon going to be a mommy. Her little boy is due to arrive this December, and I crocheted him a small pale blue baby blanket (using a v-stitch). I can only hope that he loves it as much as she once loved her red Mickey Mouse coat.

V-Stitch Detail

V-Stitch Detail

XOXO,
Young Wifey

Guest Post: Pregnant with Breast Cancer

22 Monday Jul 2013

Posted by Young Wifey in Baby, Blogging, Life

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

breast cancer, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, IBC, motherhood, Pregnancy, pregnant, stage III, tamoxifen

Today’s youth has adopted the “you only live once” mentality. Too often, I hear young women respond to the thought of breast cancer with “Oh well, I’ll just chop off my boobs and get implants.” That thought process scares and saddens me. I know it’s something that no one wishes to experience, but downplaying it is invalidating someone else’s journey. 

This guest post is from a compassionate woman. Amy Robinson is a wife, mother, daughter, and sister. She went through a very difficult and emotional ordeal and proved to herself and others that she’s stronger than ever believed. I hope everyone learns something from her experience.

XOXO,
Young Wifey

**************************************************************

Pregnant with Breast Cancer
by: Amy Robinson

I was officially diagnosed with Stage III IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer) on April 17, 2012. IBC is a rare and very aggressive cancer. At the time of my diagnose, I was 37 years old and 19 weeks pregnant. I went to my doctor thinking that I had a breast infection because my breast was red, swollen, sore, itchy, and looked like I had welts.  Turns out these are the classic symptoms for IBC.

The weeks leading up to my start date of treatment were very stressful. I was scared of the unknown. I kept asking my doctors if I was going to live and the response I would receive is, “we are going to do the best we can for you.” I needed reassurance that I was going to live and this type of reassurance cannot be guaranteed.

One week prior to my chemotherapy beginning, I asked God for a sign that I was going to make it through this journey. I was with my mom and sister at Cracker Barrel browsing around in the gift shop when I came upon this mug that said “Good things are going happen.” On the back, was a bible verse from Jeremiah 29:11, “He has great plans for you.” I thought this is my sign but put the mug back thinking this was just luck that I stumbled across the mug. I continued to browse around the gift shop when I received an email from my Aunt in Florida saying here is your verse for today and lo and behold, it was Jeremiah 29:11. I knew this was my sign from God that I was going to be okay to just put my trust and faith in him and he would see me through this terrible storm.

May 4, 2012, my treatment began. I went through 5 rounds of chemotherapy while pregnant and continued to work. They say you will lose your hair 14-21 day after your first round of chemo which I was dreading. I did not want to lose my hair (as I had a few events coming up), and I also did not want to be in delivery wearing an uncomfortable wig. Day 14 came and went, day 21 came and went. I did not lose my hair until I delivered Elijah. Another prayer answered. At 36 weeks, my doctors decided that I should be induced to deliver Elijah because my cancer was not shrinking anymore. I was not responding as well to the chemo and Elijah had reached a point that it was safe to deliver him so that I could get back into harder chemotherapy.

Three weeks after delivery, I was back into my second round of chemotherapy. I had 4 more rounds of chemotherapy.  This round was not as friendly to me as the first round, but I got through it. I was so happy when this round was over. On December 10, 2013, I had a double mastectomy, and they began my reconstruction process at the same time. On December 17, 2012, I received a call from my surgeon and said the four magic words, “You Are Cancer Free.” I had been waiting to hear that for 8 months. I went through 33 rounds of radiation and will be on tamoxifen for 10 years.

Elijah is about to turn 1 and is an amazing little boy. You would never know that he was on the roller coaster ride with me.

Amy & Elijah

Amy & Elijah

**************************************************************

Additional Information:
American Cancer Society Breast Cancer Index
BreastCancer.org
Mayo Clinic article on Breast Cancer

MedicineNet onhealth.com article on Breast Cancer
National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.
National Cancer Institute (at the National Institutes of Health) on Breast Cancer
WebMD Breast Cancer Health Center

Guest Post: 10 Ways Becoming a Mom has Made me a Better Runner

02 Tuesday Jul 2013

Posted by Young Wifey in Baby, Blogging, Kids

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

exercise, fitness, health, running

Hey Young Wifey Readers,
Today’s guest post author is a creative and hilarious woman. I hope you enjoy!  And remember to leave her comments!
XOXO,

Young Wifey

10 Ways Becoming a Mom has Made me a Better Runner

Hello everyone! My name is Kristin Gibson. I lived next door to the wonderful author of this blog as a small child, stayed in touch via Facebook, and was honored when she asked me to be a guest blogger on a topic I have been wanting to share about for a while now.

I have been married to my awesome husband, Kevin, for five years and we welcomed our first child into this world a year and a half ago, an energetic orange-haired sweet boy named Brady. I work full-time promoting recreation and wellness to college students and absolutely love my job. I luckily stumbled into the field of recreation, but everyday, I am inspired by the positive impact that exercise has on the human body, mind and spirit. I choose to run most of the time I exercise and my relationship with running has changed greatly since becoming a mother. In a really, really good way. I hope that if you are looking for some motivation to get back out there or to get started on a new exercise routine, this list might push you in that direction.

The Gibson Family

The Gibson Family

10. No One Expects My Hair to Look Nice Anymore
Or, maybe, I care less about those around me might think about my hair. It is much harder to get fancy when you have a child weaving in and out of your legs or you have to stop your son from chasing your Chihuahua with a toy golf club. So, I have embraced the partial-shower and stopped planning the majority of my workouts to include time afterwards to take a full shower. Because there is no time to blow dry and style this head of hair if I get it all wet again. Dry shampoo (or hairspray) and a blow dryer work wonders. I don’t think a ponytail has ever gone out of style (not that I have any idea what is in style right now). And no one yet has told me I have stinky hair. Even my husband who is really honest.

9. I’m Already in Stretchy Clothes 90% of the Time
Maternity clothes did a number on my willingness to wear tight, restrictive clothing. My body rejects anything that makes me uncomfortable for the sake of fashion at this point. Thus, I have started investing in workout gear that looks acceptable to be worn in public. All day long. Every day. And night.

8. Jogging is Nothing Compared to Growing a Human
I have a new appreciation of what my body is capable of. I didn’t think it was possible for me to GROW A HUMAN inside of me. A part of me was doubting it was really happening until I heard our son’s first cry. So many times, exercise is more of a mental fight than a physical fight. I try to overcome my mind and tell myself, “Seriously, Kristin, you grew a baby, you can run for five more minutes.”

7. I Like It When Strangers See Me Run with a Stroller
Maybe our house is a mess, I just ate a whole bag of goldfish, and I just “cleaned” pee off the carpet, but I managed to get myself and my son fully clothed and prepared for a jog. No one sees the other stuff, they see a chick pushing a heavy stroller up a hill. Maybe it motivates them to run. It’s a small victory, but an awesome one. And nothing warms my heart more to see a man or woman pushing a stroller during my route!

Kristin & Brady

Kristin & Brady

6. I Can’t Procrastinate Anymore
Gone are the days where I could put off a lunchtime workout to later that evening, where I would maybe fit in a workout between my romantic dinner with my husband and whatever the heck I did with my hours of free time every evening pre-baby. I have to realize that if I do not fit in a workout now during my lunch break while the baby is with the sitter, or before the unpredictable nap that keeps us locked in the house on weekends, it will probably not happen. A nice change-up to the romantic dinner date with your husband is a romantic jogging date. Not kidding. It’s rejuvenating to see your spouse doing something other than changing diapers and cleaning.

5. Running is a Form of Transportation
Back in the old days, people didn’t use cars to get everywhere. Shocking, I know! So I have tried to use my jog as a way to get places that are nearby. Our son officially thinks the only way to get to the park at this point is by stroller. The look of joy on his face when I awkwardly try to get him, the jogging stroller, and all of his supplies out the front door is pretty awesome. I am lucky to live close enough to a few parks we can jog to. Then I walk back. Slowly.

4. I’ve Stopped Punishing Myself for a Bad Workout
Any exercise is good exercise. Repeat after me. Any exercise is good exercise. Dude. So many factors are working against a mom and “the perfect workout.” Chances are, I just woke up 5 times in the middle of the night, I was folding laundry all morning and my hormones are out of control (there are many more to list, but you get the picture). Getting dressed to workout and moving my body at all is one battle that I have won for the day! And then some days, it just doesn’t happen. And that has to be fine with me, because life and babies are unpredictable. But tomorrow, I will at least put on exercise clothes (see above) when I wake up so that it is one less task to stop me from hitting the pavement.

3. Getting Out of the House is Cathartic
Our son had colic, that issue no parent wants to admit until it has passed because you don’t want to think you have to go through it for any longer and you feel terrible because you can’t help your baby feel better. It went on for four months. It made every single day of maternity leave a nightmare, I’ll be real. I could not “soak up every precious moment” with my infant because he was screaming in my face. Getting outside with him either by myself or with my life-saving mom-pals for a walk kept me semi-sane. Sometimes on those walk/runs, he would calm down or fall asleep. Not always, but somehow crying outside was less stressful than him crying inside our house-prison. And, I felt better because I felt more like my old athletic self (I found it incredibly helpful to do things that reminded me of life before baby). Now, when I feel like my life is teetering on the brink of disaster, I either plop him in the stroller with a graham cracker and hit the road or my husband kindly kicks me out of the house alone so that I can return a new Mom and Wife. Sweaty, happier and more patient.

2. I Embrace Any Form of Motivation
I have this weird (and extremely effective) fantasy I envision when my run is not going well. I imagine my future grandchild (I told you it’s weird) cheering me on at the end of a 5k or 10k race. They have a sign they made with finger paint. And their friend says, “Your Grandma is hot!” And they say, “I want to run like Grandma someday!” I say it’s okay to embrace whatever helps you get a better workout.

1. It’s Not Just Me Anymore
I’m going to get a little deep, just real quick. When we first found out I was pregnant, I realized that I would never be alone for one second for the next nine months. This realization was a bit intimidating, but also strangely motivational. There was a little tiny person inside my body depending on me for nourishment and now a little person depends on my body to do things like holding, hugging, feeding and playing. Exercise isn’t just about me anymore. It’s about taking care of my body so that I am able to do everything I need and want to do as a mother, a wife and a friend.

Kristin with Fellow Mamas

Kristin with Fellow Mamas

Thank you for reading. I’d love to hear if any of this rings true for you or if you have any tips or revelations about parenting exercise!

Double the Love

10 Tuesday Apr 2012

Posted by Young Wifey in Baby, Creating

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

baby blankets, blanket, Crochet, fleece blanket, gift

Three weeks ago, my best friend from back home had twin boys. Since she was on bed rest, her baby shower ended up being canceled. When I was home last week, I was able to meet her lil’ cuties and finally give them their gifts.

Double the Love

Double the Love

I made them each three fleece blankets with a brown crocheted trim. One white, one green and one monkey print. I hope these lil’ monkeys love their new blankets.

Monkey Blankets

Monkey Blankets

What new bundles of joy have arrived in your life recently?

Blankets for a Bouncing Baby Boy

08 Friday Apr 2011

Posted by Young Wifey in Baby, Creating, Crochet

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

baby blanket, baby gifts, baby nursery, baby shower, baby shower gift, blanket, craft, crafting, Crochet, crocheting, gift, handmade, homemade, it's a boy, postaday2011, present, yarn, yarn arts

These past few weeks I’ve been extremely busy creating all sorts of gifts… I made three blankets for my close friend’s baby shower. They are warm and cozy fleece blankets with a crocheted trim. I loved the technique so much, that I wanted to make more. And since April is raining babies, I finished these just in time for another friend of mine who is due tomorrow.

Trio of Baby Blankets

Trio of Baby Blankets

 

To create these blankets, I used a skip-stitch blade on my rotary cutter. I ran the blade along the edges to create holes to base my crochet trim. The trim on the green blanket has a round of single stitch and a round of half-double crochet. The trim on the blue blanket was made by two rounds of single stitches and then a round of double crochet. The cream blanket has a round of single stitch and the two rounds of half double crochet.

The perfect cozy wrap for snuggling a new baby…

What have you received as a homemade/handmade gift recently?

 

Detail of Edging

Detail of Edging

 

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